Spoiler Alert: Google Wants to Protect You from… Spoilers.

Spoiler Alert: Google Wants to Protect You from... Spoilers.
Photo from Google

Sick of accidentally stumbling upon piles and piles of information that you never really intended to know about?

Lately, it has been increasingly hard for people who just want to live their lives one day at a time— people who don’t really have any intention of wanting to know what happens in the future— to avoid spoilers from others who just couldn’t stand keeping a secret.

These peaceful people try to spend some time peacefully on social media platforms like Facebook and Twitter, but spoilers— much like common diseases that plague our society today— they’re just all over the place, everywhere these people go.

They try so hard to guard themselves from such things, but they have got nothing on spoiler-spillers that overwhelm them.

No matter how much they try to avoid seeing what the future brings, it has become increasingly impossible to do such a thing.

So Google decided to step in.

Very much aware of the agony that these people go through every single day of their lives, Google has come up with a very noble and effective way to protect them from book, movie, and TV spoilers.

On Tuesday, Google was able to acquire a patent from the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office for their latest invention (which can also be considered a charity work, meant for those whom they want to protect from the spoiler plague)— the automated spoiler filter.

According to CNN Tech, documents filed by Google at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office described Google’s latest brainchild as this:

Imagine software (on your e-reader, tablet, phone, computer) that tracks how far along you are in that book, movie or TV show. It can talk to your other devices. And as you travel to websites and pull up your social media feed, it’s smart enough to scan the page for plot spoilers.

Potential spoilers automatically get censored. If you click on them, you get a spoiler alert. If you’re absolutely sure you want to see it, you can override the warning and read it.

The question on whether Google plans to launch the automated spoiler filter anytime soon has no definite answer as of yet. But as for the question on whether Google has any plans of launching the software at all— what a Google spokeswoman told CNN may just hold the answer:

“We hold patents on a variety of ideas — some of those ideas later mature into real products or services, some don’t. Prospective product announcements should not necessarily be inferred from our patents.”

5 Comments

  • TommyVercetti says:

    Unless the whole implementation of the technology is seamless, I see this as having the potential to be very annoying. Sure, the concept is pretty neat, and is made with the best of intentions, but it does its job perfectly, it can ‘feel’ like a minor censorship to those who couldn’t care less about spoilers.

  • cyborg says:

    Haha, I had to check if this was published on April Fools. Spoilers annoy me, but I’m not sure I like the thought of Google knowing everything I read and watch. If this ever comes to fruition, I’ll probably pass on it – spoilers are a minor annoyance, and it’s easy enough usually to just avoid anything talking about the series you’re not caught up on.

  • blackcanary says:

    Well this is definitely something new and I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of anything like this before. How exactly would Google know where you were up to in a tv series or a book however? I’m not sure that this would really catch on, it seems a bit unnecessary really.

    I’ve been catching up on The Walking Dead over the past few months, I’m actually still on Season 3 but I’ve managed to completely avoid spoilers by not searching the tv show or even the actors on google. I also don’t follow any of them on Twitter or anything and it really has been surprisingly easy considering how large the show is. Or even if it is a show I keep up with but haven’t seen the latest episode all you have to do is basically avoid twitter/fb till you’ve seen it.

  • oraclemay says:

    This does mean that much of what has been your privacy will now be scrutinized by Google in order to protect you from these so called ‘spoilers’ . However thoughtful this may be on Google’s behalf, I don’t think there are many of us who will be willing to participate in this complete violation of privacy.

  • xSentaru says:

    God bless Google if they actually get this to work. I can’t count how many times I’ve actually stumbled upon some Game of Thrones spoilers by mistake.

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